About me: TMI

I'm glad I was brought up as an atheist. That way I don't have much of a shock. I asked, I begged, I tried to blindly believe, I promised anything that would be required from me, and still I'm in this situation. It's not even sad, it's expected. God or goddess or anything like this doesn't exist, but it would have been a lot worse, if they did exist and didn't care. No one need another absentee parent, I less of all. 

Can't help but feel disappointed, but really it was just proving my theory. I could calm my husband with "gods plan" but I can't fool myself. Where there is no god, there is no plan, and no matter what I do, there is nothing good waiting for me in future. That's why people or animals who die they aren't "going to a better place" they are just dying. Cruelly and mercilessly. No fair judgement in the end, no salvation, nothing. Do as you please, cause life has no meaning, no plan, no result. You have no faith, there is no "grand plan". 

There is grand scheme of things - brawn's movement. Mess. Do as you please, come as you are, go as you were. It's hard to live in the society that constantly throwing god in your face and now to laugh at them and to cry about them and their naïveté in the same time. 

Thank to nonexistent gods I'm an atheist.